after the leaving

well, i have only written once. but here i go again. since the last post i have become a mother and my husband left for iraq. so needless to say, a lot has changed. colden was born on November 2nd at 7 lbs 2 oz. i was in labor for 36 hours and then had an emergency c section. colden was trying to come out face up, and got lodged under my pelvis bone. it was awful, but thank God for modern medicine, because both of us could have died. colden is just like his dad- he makes me fall in love with him again every time i look at him.
cliff left when colden was a week old, but at least he got to meet the sweet little guy. he hasn't said anything, but i know it is really hard for cliff to be away from us. he is being strong though.

my mom has been here since cliff left last sunday, and is leaving tomorrow. my mother in law is coming back tomorrow to stay a couple of days. i am started to feel cabin fever a little bit. there are things i could be doing at home, but i just want to sit here and stare at the little guy when we are here, or sleep when i can. i am breastfeeding, and it is going very well. everyone has so much bad stuff to say about their experience with breastfeeding, but SO FAR it is going very well. it may be because i was so determined.

i miss my husband so much, but colden takes ALL of my time, so it goes very fast. i realize there will be bad nights and good nights, but i REALLY hate the bad nights because they are so depressing! it is a good bonding time with the little guy because it is just he and i, but it makes me miss my husband that much more. being in the bedroom without him there... :( it is just no fun! i have a long way to go. but i am taking it one day at a time!

ok thats enough for now. more later!

i love both of my CBJs!